San Diego Shit That Matters: A Weekly Update [8/24/18]

San Diego, week of August 24th

Let's be real: We live in a fast world (in an even faster time) and underneath the sensationalized headlines of the worldwide media, we may often lose touch with the news and events going on around us on a local scale. As such, we've taken it upon us to collect some of this week's San Diego-centric stories and present them in a nice, quick and digestible form.

I'd like to consider this a series we intend on continuing, but considering my current relationship with consistency, who the fuck knows at this point. Anyways, without further ado, I present to you, the Weekly Update on San Diego On Shit That Matters. Tune in.

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BROWNIES & LEMONADE DECIDE ON THE GASLAMP -- WHY?

 
Brownies & Lemonade
 

The Los Angeles party staple Brownies & Lemonade -- noted for being a rite of passage for bedroom producers at a time when Soundcloud still catered to that thing -- recently teased the announcement of their debut San Diego show, a follow up party to Waterfront Park's CRSSD Festival. Of course, this was a big deal.

While there may only be 120 miles in separation from our city and the event company's hometown, the distance between both worlds can be felt at every inch, which is what made the preview of the announcement so exciting (side note: when did we come to announcing previews for essentially bigger previews? Weird, but yeah, I digress). After many years of San Diego being snubbed and unrecognized, when news hit, many of us wondered: what could B&L have planned to make up for lost time? A warehouse show? A parking lot festival a las Mad Decent's old Petco Park playground? Maybe even a cool all nighter at Spin? Well, the announcement finally hit Wednesday morning and, well.. Bassmnt it is, I guess.

No misrespek to the good folks at B&L because we understand how it is to throw something together last minute, especially on LED's prime festival weekend, but damn, a Gaslamp club afterparty? Either way, let's hold them in our good graces and pray the event goes well, unlike most shit that goes down in the Gaslamp after 9pm. With such a big look, it'd be a shame if the B&L debut fizzles out in classic Downtown rapper afterparty scenario: Mr. Carmack (or someone similar) comes through at 11pm and posts up in the VIP section, gets on stage at 1:18am, proceeds to play a 20 min set and then laughs at all your broke, thirsty faces when curfew hits. I'm sure that won't be the case, though. I hope.


NORTH COUNTY'S OWN DUNCAN H. HUNTER FINALLY SHITS THE BED

Duncan D Hunter

Well, well, well, have you heard the e-liquid tea? It looks like North County's elected bro-version of Satan, Duncan D. Hunter, has finally fallen from his good graces after a barrage of Jesus-Christ-I-Can't-Believe-These-Are-Real charges came his way via a 47-page indictment Tuesday, August 21st. For those who may not know, Duncan D. Hunter is a California congressman currently (as of August 23rd, at least) representing the 50th District, which spans much of inland San Diego County, including El Cajon, Escondido, San Marcos, Santee, and pretty much every other very, very white and rural part of San Diego. 

Aside from being a politician, though, Duncan D. Hunter is also a giant piece of shit. To put it into perspective, over the course of his tenure, Hunter has managed to do all of the following: be one of the earliest supporters of Donald Trump (back when even the GOP still thought that shit was a game), vote to ban same sex marriage, vote to ban transgender military personnel, vote to ban the morning-after pill (even in the case of rape or incest), defend the right to bodyslam (yes, BODYSLAM) journalists, and on top of everything -- the motherfucker is an adamant vaper. Can you believe that shit? HE VAPES. That's the kind of scum we let run our fine city.

Anyways, after years of dealing with this human wet sock, God finally decided to show her beautiful face and present to us a nationally-reported federal indictment on not only Hunter, but his wife as well, for over $250,000 in campaign finance misuse. Now, the best part about this isn't that he misused campaign funds on cool rich people shit, like hookers and cocaine and off-shore bank accounts in the Caymans, because he didn't. Nah, the best part was that while he was flexing all this campaign money, Hunter was actually poor as shit -- and not like "rich dude has some debt" poor, but like, "Chase is sending you your fourth INSUFFICIENT FEES text" poor. Real life broke boy shit.

In fact, according to the indictment, Hunter was so broke that he couldn't afford to cop board shorts for an illegally campaign funded vacation, so his wife convinced him to buy shorts at a golf supply store and just claim the purchase was made as a donation for wounded veterans. If the military thought THAT was a slap in the face, then imagine their reaction when the indictment also revealed that because the U.S. Navy wouldn't coordinate a special vacation for his broke ass, Hunter, a Marine vet and elected official, verbatim spewed the words: "tell the Navy to go fuck themselves," which has gotta be the most real life Judd Apatow-movie shit I've ever heard.

As of Thursday morning, Hunter and his wife have pled non-guilty to all charges, and as we all know, rich white men in positions of power don't go to prison unless they're on the staff team, so who knows how this will turn out. With that said, democrat Ammar Campa-Najjar is running against Hunter's still-sort-of viable re-election campaign this year and, needless to say, Campa-Najjar seems like the guy to finally get Hunter all the way the fuck outta here. Plus, Campa-Najjar is hot as shit, like foreal, look him up, it's wild.

[LATE THURSDAY UPDATE: To further drive my point across that Duncan D. Hunter deserves to be burned at the stake, the 41 year-old man-boy-pig was just quoted on Fox News as saying, "[My wife] was the campaign manager, so whatever she did that'll be looked at too, I'm sure, but I didn't do it." So in case you didn't know, everybody, his wife handled all the money and he had nothing to do with it. Good to know]


HORTON PLAZA TO BECOME A HUB FOR NERD ASS GENTRIFIERS

sd-1535057552-mmkyru7qy1-snap-image.jpg

In other news that reeks of classist filth, it has finally been announced exactly what will become of the colorful ghost town that is Downtown's Horton Plaza. As reported by the San Diego Union Tribune, all of Horton Plaza's 900,000 square-foot property has been handed over to Stockdale Capital Partners, a real-estate development firm with sights to turn the mall into a giant "tech-campus" hub of sorts, dubbed "The Campus at Horton" (oh fucking god).

As outlined in Stockdale's plan, this development includes constructing expansive workspaces where the Nordstrom used to be, retail outposts covering the second floor, and "hip work zones" for millennials to eat, drink, and work out in, "in quintessential San Diego-style."

To keep it a buck, the development plans for this shit looks like a map in the game DOOM, except instead of killing demons, you're really just killing homeless people. Even when describing the desired outcome for the development, Stockdale Capital's director was quoted as saying: “There's an incredible opportunity to capture primarily Bay Area technology tenants who are looking to expand outside a very expensive San Francisco." Primarily? In the midst of a housing crisis, a homeless crisis, and a bro crisis, to publicly say that you're desired outcome in building a giant fucking sandbox is to attract Bay Area techies, then all I am hearing is: "blah blah blah fuck poor people.

Excuse me for being pessimistic, but this millennial-friendly angle of real estate is always so goddamn cringey and transparent to see. No matter the "This will make San Diego a cultural force!" recycled campaign that all those developers ride in, rarely is it ever about San Diego. Or at least the real San Diego and what's left of it.

Of course, It's obviously too early to tell what property like this can do economically for San Diego as a whole, but if the barren, pseudo-artsy "luxury" condos in the East Village are of any reflection, then it don't mean shit. Just more land for nerd ass transplants and wealthy folks to call a home.


REVIVE UNDERGROUND QUEER CLUB CULTURE

 
Tunnel Vision: A Queer Club Night
 

Now, this may seem a little hard to believe, but long before electronic music coursed through the veins of sweaty, white frat bros nation-wide, there did in fact exist a time when electronic music was a primary safe space for queer-identifying folks, and not just a safe space, but a cultivation of the culture. Sparked from the roots of both black and queer folks, it's without a doubt that all forms of underground electronic dance music has been shaped by the LGBTQ+ community, making their impact indelible to everything we do. 

This is why we've teamed up with Soulection's Sasha Marie to finally celebrate this impact and create a night where not only is the music played in celebration of all underground regional electronic styles, but of the queer culture that has molded them throughout the decades. Featuring some of San Diego's best DJs, including Sasha Marie herself, Von Kiss, She Tender, and Vii, we will be covering NOLA Bounce, Vogue anthems, Chicago House, Detroit Techno, Jersey Club, B'more, etc -- pretty much all of it.

Entitled Tunnel Vision as an homage to NYC's culturally-groundbreaking gay nightclub The Tunnel, we recommend all come dressed up in their Ball best and be prepared to actually move. No cool guy shit allowed.


ANTIMEDIA MAGAZINE'S SECOND ISSUE KEEPS DIY SAN DIEGO ALIVE AND WELL

Antimedia Magazine

It was a big week for our friends at Antimedia Magazine with the release of their long-anticipated second issue. Featuring San Diego artists like Endo Rosales, Carl Jungle, Daniel from Danse, co-founder Erica Buenconsejo, and many others, the art publicatio boasts a wide range of unfiltered mixed-media content, including a long-form diatribe against the monster that is social media, small tableaus reflecting on recent adventures, a big fuck you to faux-artistry, photographs, illustrations, collages and much more. If there was a publication that encapsulated much of what is exciting about San Diego's DIY scene, it is Antimedia, and we know we are lucky to have them putting in the work to archive our city's creative history. 

Head over to Gym Standard in North Park to purchase a copy of their latest issue while you still can, because from what we can tell, the magazine is flying fast.


OPEN HOUSE PROVES WHY UMENOS IS THE GREATEST -- YET AGAIN

Never shy to experiment with new mediums, our good friends at Open House finally released footage of their backyard Boiler Room-esque event, the Open House Mixer, and who else better to spotlight in the feature video than on San Diego veteran and experimental extraordinaire, Umenos.

The video of the set spans just about an hour, with footage of Umenos dropping everything from Tri-Angle Records deconstructed madness to hard techno to Appalachian Mountain hoe-down anthems. If that sounds weird, well, it's because it is, but that's what makes Umenos a silky-haired god amongst men. If you look closely, you may also catch a wide bundle of familiar faces hanging out behind the DJ, and if you look even closer, you can almost point out a strange malformed figure that is my face lurking somewhere around there, as well. Anyways, hit that mf play button and witness greatness unfold.


THE SD UNDERGROUND FILM FESTIVAL OPENS IT'S DOORS

San Diego Underground Film Festival

I personally have still yet to attend (planning on changing that this year), but let it be known from all the mountaintops on the outskirts of our city: the San Diego Underground Film Fest is finally here and it is something you definitely cannot miss. Kicked off on Thursday, this whole weekend event will feature over dozens of films from some brilliant minds. In their own words:

San Diego Underground Film Festival is proud to present a diverse and inclusive lineup of experimental, documentary, animated, and narrative films which are complimented by nightly expanded cinema performances, installations, and live music. Thursday, opening night will be held at Bread & Salt Gallery in Barrio Logan, Friday-Sunday will be held at Tenth Ave Arts Center Downtown.

**SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION HOUR**

A re-work of "Yosemite" by Travis Scott, created by deconstructing the song into tiny bits, fucking with each sound, and adding additional instrumentation over. I wish I could've included Gunna's verse, but there had to be sacrifices to rework such a gem. Enjoy.

ANDY INTERNETS