East Village's Monkey Paw Brewing closes it's doors

East Village's Monkey Paw Brewing closes

In recent sad developments, San Diego-based corporations and real estate giants are yet again another step closer at making East Village look exactly like Bikini Bottom as Squidward accidentally found it in the future -- covered in polished metal, barren and tasteless and stupid. The latest blow we're referring to comes in the form of Monkey Paw Brewing's permanent closure late Monday night, an end of an era for East Village and it's iconic watering-hole.

While the news may have broke a bit abruptly for us all -- even for employees who weren't informed of the closure until they checked their schedules a few days prior -- it certainly wasn't all the way surprising, especially considering the hopeless state the company had been in since founder Scot Blair ditched the joint.

To trace the unfortunate demise of the acclaimed brewpub, we only have to go back to mid-last year when Blair (Hamilton's, Small Bar) announced Monkey Paw Brewing had been acquired by craft beer heavyweights Coronado Brewing Company, a deal made under the assumption that Blair would still be in-charge of branding and operations. As part of the symbiosis, Coronado would distribute the beer to a wider audience, and in return, Monkey Paw's product would help Coronado Brewing not look so old and wack.

The outcome? Well, when you let old and wack money take over, you logically get old and wack results. After many internal conflicts between Blair and the Coronado  Brewing heads, much of which included "recipes being changed, delays in canning and distribution," Blair threw in the towel and said, "fuck y'all, I still got Hammies."

Monkey Paw Brewing Closes

As a consequence, Coronado knew it now on their shoulders to take over the famed bar and keep the cultural legacy alive. "Really, Coronado Brewing can do some of the same things, if we push ourselves and push our boundaries," exclaimed CEO Brandon Richards in a San Diego Union Tribune article. In true dweeb fashion, however, Richards concluded: "We can always become a little edgier."

At this point, it should be common knowledge that nothing encapsulates true non-edginess like having to explain how edgy you can really get, or actually, just using the word "edgy" at all. And now, following that inability to pick up where Blair left off, Monkey Paw falls as a casualty of the war between San Diego culture and the big money that seeks to dictate it's future. 

Or maybe Blair was just a giant dick and was impossible to work with, who knows. Either way, we've all just lost another famed name in the growing list of fallen heroes -- and that's what truly matters.

ANDY INTERNETS